Échec-Veronica Verie

Échec – Veronica Verie

               And as I walked up the stairs the answer was already in my head. I was too late. Whoever this was, whoever was behind that door, I couldn’t save this sorry person. I was just walking towards another corpse.

               A few officers ran ahead of me, they got my call. Rick walked up to me, “So by your pace I surmise we are too late?” I didn’t respond. Heck the only thing I wanted was a drink. A gin and tonic, a cold beer, a….One of the officers shouted, “She is dead.”

               I walked past the others, and stared at the corpse. She was beautiful. Or, she had been, when she was alive. Rick looked at me, finally he spoke, “Did you know her?”

               I nodded, “I saw her once.” Staring at the empty pill bottles around her I closed my eyes.

               Veronica Verie was a singer. I saw her perform once a couple years ago. It was a dim lit bar. I sipped my drink as we waited for her to come on stage.

               There I saw a woman walk up. She was pale and wearing a red dress. Her eyes were a steel blue. They were a stolen blue. She took them from a deep well of despair. It was a bottomless pit in which her soul seethed and her moments fleeted. She wore a depth of pain under that dress that cut through every inch of her.

               And as she spoke before the song you could hear days spent washed in booze and pills. Every moment of this woman’s life was unending despair that suffocated the hope out of each person she encountered.

               When she was fourteen she ran away from her home. Her father was an abusive drunkard. He had gotten worse after her mother died. Those early days of desperation and suffering brought about so many scars on a young girl’s psyche. These were wounds she would carry her entire life. And when she left she brought all that pain with her.

               Days spent waiting tables and pumping her veins full of junk. Nights chasing away the sickness and pain with a bottle. And all the while she was emptying her heart along with each drink. She was spending every cent on drink and drugs. And spending each moment wandering ever forward toward the inevitable.

               Her pain was as authentic as it was tragic. And who can really not love a tragic beauty a little bit. And so Verie’s skill and beauty only grew juxtaposed to her pain. All the while she only slipped further away. Veronica, a shattered woman, she was inching further into desolation.”

               Now I look at her lifeless body. She was lying on the floor. Next to her were empty bottles of pills and wine. Empty like she was now. There on the floor a beautiful woman destroyed. She was destroyed by her pain. Broken by days spent lost to the endless suffering that cascaded in her memory.

               I bent down on the floor next t her. Kissing her hand I put a sheet over her. Good night beautiful angel. The officers looked at me in silence, and finally I spoke, “Rick, this woman didn’t deserve this.” Staring at the ground I continued, “None of them do! Why the hell is it so dark in this world? Why are we so alone? If only she knew it wasn’t so bad. Those scars might never fade, but over time we can learn to forget them. Learn to forgive those who left them, and atone to those we left scars on!”

Rick interjected, “Jean, it’s not your fault!” Staring at him, “Rick, I wish I could have. I couldn’t save anyone, but why the hell do I have to deal with all this. Why is it me that they are drawn to? Every time one of these poor wretches dies I lose a little of myself. And now I’m losing more than ever.”

Rick wanted to speak again. I just looked at him and nodded. I walked out the store and out to the street. Staring at the pavement I began to think of those I lost already. Of my mother, my father, those friends and lovers, all of them fallen into oblivion. All the while I couldn’t help any of them. They died and I couldn’t save them. I was weak, as weak as them. So why do I go on?

Well at least I knew what drove me to march on tonight. Tonight it was only a vodka tonic for me. Yet, however maybe I could find more. Like that pretty woman that just smiled at me……….